The Setting: An isolated beach on the Aegean. The blue sea lapping gently at the shore. Xena and Gabrielle lying on the sand after a quick dip. Argo enjoying a swim.
X: Everywhere we go looks so much like New Zealand.
G: I must send a scroll to Mum describing this place.
X: Why don’t you try sketching it on one side of the scroll and writing on the other.*
G: Hmmm... yes. I could invent the postcard. This is great! You and me just relaxing on a holiday.
X: Two weeks of holidays in a row would be better. (Xena begins to drift off)
G: Xena?
X: (opens one eye) Mmmm...
G: We’ve been travelling together for four solstices now.
X: Mmm.
G: You know how I feel about you.
X: Mmm.
G: How much I care about you.
X: Mmm.
G: How much I’d *sacrifice* for you.
X: Walk a marathon over hot coals just to sweat in my shadow.
G: Yes. No.
X: No! (frowns)
G: Yes. Speaking of walking a marathon ...
X: We’re not getting a chariot.
G: Rub some oil on your back Xena?
X: Gabrielle, not if it’s going to cost me.
G: Xena, a horse. My kingdom for a horse.
X: You don't have a kingdom.
G: I’m ready for a horse of my own.
X: Gabrielle before I got Argo I practiced riding many horses.
G: Slow learn ...
X: Even a secondhand horse costs more dinars than we could get our hands on legally. Now what were you saying about my back and oil?
G: I could call my horse Fargo. Argo and Fargo.
X: That’s enough sun for you today, Gabrielle.
G: A small donkey? My ass.
X: Your ass?
G: My own ass.
X: Don’t go there Gabrielle.
G: Oh, Xena.
X: Lets enjoy our holiday. We can talk about your ass anytime. (laughs)
(Gabrielle starts to rub oil on Xena’s shoulders.)
X: Mmm. I suppose we could review your transport needs.
(Both smile ~ Gabrielle continues to massage Xena’s shoulders.)
X: How do you feel about a Winnebago?
(Argo emerges from the sea walks towards them dripping wet and munching on a squid.)
G: Xena, look at Argo’s stomach it’s enormous!
X: Argo’s eating raw squid!
(Xena examines Argo’s expanding girth.)
G: Is Argo sick?
X: Gabrielle I think Argo’s pregnant. By the look of her I’d say about eight months.
G: But she was only in the water for ten minutes. Must be a phantom pregnancy.
(Xena feels Argo’s stomach again.)
X: No, there is definitely something alive in there.
G: Probably more squid.
X: No, Argo’s about to give birth. Gabrielle, stand back.
(Argo starts panting, Gabrielle boils water, Xena looks for a cigar.)
X: Push, Argo, push! Pull, Gabrielle, pull!
(Gabrielle grabs two emerging hooves and gently pulls.)
G: A baby horse. Xena he’s ... (takes a quick look) Yes, he’s a he. He’s so beautiful. I shall call him Fargo.
X: Gabrielle this is no ordinary baby horse. The pregnancy was only minutes, the birth seconds.
G: Xena I’m going to keep him.
X: Gabrielle this could be EVIL FARGO.
X: (drawing her sword) Stand back, Gabrielle.
G: Xena, no! I won’t let you do this. You can’t kill Fargo.
X: Gabrielle, your such a drama queen. I’m cutting the umbilical cord. But Gabrielle, don’t you think what Argo has done is very strange.
G: I know; horses don’t eat squid.
X: No. I mean the birth.
G: Define "very strange."
X: Gabrielle, stand back Fargo’s going through puberty.
(Xena, Gabrielle and Argo watch in total amazement as Fargo rapidly ages, turning into a mature full sized stallion. Fargo rears up.)
X: Oh my ... he’s a big fella.
(Argo faints, Gabrielle faints. Xena catches Gabrielle before she hits the ground.)
X: (gently tapping Gabrielle’s face to wake her) Are you all right? Come on Gabrielle it’s not like we haven’t seen one of those before. I’m sure Perdicas had one.
G: Xena ... (coming around slowly)
(Fargo's mane flying in the breeze gallops in slow motion off and out of sight.)
G: Xena, I had a vision.
X: I had deja vu myself.
*Xena invents the postcard
DISCLAIMER: The characters of Xena and Gabrielle are not mine (Renaissance Pictures/MCA Universal have them). They have been borrowed for entertainment purposes only and no infringement on any copyrights held by MCA Universal or Renaissance Pictures is intended.
