Goldfest 2008: Mysterious Roman Artifacts

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Goldfest 2008: Mysterious Roman Artifacts

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Mysterious Roman Artifacts

A cache of artifacts has been discovered in a trunk that was unearthed during an archaeological dig in a province of ancient Rome.

The displayed objects are not to scale.

images of some artifacts courtesy of The Online Collection of Roman Artifacts

Imagine that you are an armchair archaeologist and propose your interpretation of this fortuitous find in Africa Proconsularis by writing a short scenario that incorporates all the items depicted and puts them into a coherent context. Think Howard Carson in David Macaulay's Motel of the Mysteries. The objective here is to promote some humorous entertainment and not to stage a contentious contest. There are no prizes, just a participation plaque.

If you are not familiar with David Macaulay's archaeological spoof entitled Motel of the Mysteries, here's a synopsis from the publisher.

It is the year 4022; all of the ancient country of Usa has been buried under many feet of detritus from a catastrophe that occurred back in 1985. Imagine, then, the excitement that Howard Carson, an amateur archeologist at best, experienced when in crossing the perimeter of an abandoned excavation site he felt the ground give way beneath him and found himself at the bottom of a shaft, which, judging from the DO NOT DISTURB sign hanging from an archaic doorknob, was clearly the entrance to a still-sealed burial chamber. Carson's incredible discoveries, including the remains of two bodies, one of then on a ceremonial bed facing an altar that appeared to be a means of communicating with the Gods and the other lying in a porcelain sarcophagus in the Inner Chamber, permitted him to piece together the whole fabric of that extraordinary civilization.

Here's a souvenir plaque; thanks for your participation.

artifact plaque