THE MAN OF GOLD

There once was a well-off man who wished to be admirable, perfect, immortal, a wonder of the world. Told by his advisers - alchemists, philosophers, professional wise men, and personal trainers - that gold was the only gold standard, the only pure and incorruptible element, he resolved to incorporate more and more of it into his life. He began by collecting golden things - gold coins, golden rings, golden spoons and bowls, statues of pure gold. When told by his doctors that doses and potions of powdered gold could purify his blood and bones, and prevent his growing old and gray, he began to eat and drink it.

Gram by gram and drop by drop, his skin and hair began to shine with a golden glow. When a tooth would ache or decay, he would have it pulled and replaced with a tooth of gold. When his nose was cut off by a sword in a duel, he replaced it with a golden nose. When an arm was lost in an accident, he replaced it with a golden arm.

And so it went, until, in the end, all who looked on him were dazzled, and exclaimed: "Behold! He is perfect and good as gold. Nay, he IS pure gold." When he went out, crowds would gather to admire him. Some even fell to their knees to adore him. Finally he no longer went in and out at all, but simply stood in a public square where all could admire and adore him.

He could not see or hear them, though, for he was now pure gold. With his golden eyes he could not see, nor with his golden ears could he hear their praises and songs of adulation. He could not see or hear or smell, nor think or feel. He was in, fact, quite dead. One day a man in the crowd tried to point this out, yelling out to them, "But the man is dead!" "Tut!," they said, and "So what? He's completely perfect, in every part and in every way! He even has a heart of gold!"

Moral: Seek the Golden Mean, not the Golden Man
OR: Thou shalt not statuefy thyself: Seek excellence, not perfection.