Cerberus growled at Cornellia and advanced on her, all three heads tilted to contemplate her as their latest meal. "Nice doggy. Doggies. Nice three headed beasty?" she called. It seemed to have no effect on the giant black beast. Cornellia contemplated the cup of Lethe water she was still holding. "How about a drink, Cerberus?" As the middle head came lower for a bite she threw the cup of water into the mouth. "Ack, dog breath!" she exclaimed as all three mouths opened. Then Cerberus seemed to become puzzled. After a moment he gave up sniffing at Cornelia and instead walked over to an oversized dog basket, where the word "Snuggles" was written in giant lettering. Cerberus climbed in, circled three times, and went to sleep. "Well, that was close." Cornellia contemplated the three headed beast with a snakelike tail. "He looks so cuuuute when he's asleep." Then she crossed the threshold and entered Hades proper. "Hello?" she called. "Can anybody here direct me to a guy named Midas?" A pale shade of an old man, dressed in women's clothing, drew near. "Greetings, mortal," the shade said. "Have you brought us blood of a sacrifice to drink?" "Sorry, no." The shade cursed. "Dangnabit! Nobody follows the proper procedures anymore. Oh, no. Instead it's every other day some new visitor comes here, none of them bringing a sacrifice, wandering all over the grass, looking for souvenir shops..." "Who are you? And what's with the cross-dressing?" Cornellia asked. The shade seemed to perk up a bit. "I was Tiresias, a prophet and priest of Zeus, when I lived, and loved. Now I am but a pale reflection of what I was in life." "So why the dress?" "Can't a priest of Zeus wear women's clothing if he thinks it's more comfortable?" "Um, I guess there's no reason he couldn't," Cornellia responded. "So do you know where Midas is?" "I know many things." "But do you know that?" If the shade could breath he would have sighed. "Yes. He's over there." The shade pointed off in a direction. "Just follow the yellow brick road." "Yellow brick road?" "Everything he touches turns to gold, right? So everywhere he goes, he leaves a trail." "Thanks!" Cornellia left the shade of Tiresias behind and headed off after Midas. After an indeterminate period she came across a depressed-looking man with donkey ears sitting on a gold chair, surrounded by gold. "Greetings," she said. "Are you Midas?" The man looked up. "Yes, I am Midas, King of Phrygia. What can I do for you?" "I'm Cornellia Cornelius, and I'm on a quest for unlimited wealth. I was told you were the man to talk to." "Yes, well. As you see," and he gestured to his surroundings. "It isn't as useful as you think. I can't eat. I can't drink. I'm doomed to eternal suffering. And I totally destroyed the economy of Phrygia." "Huh? I thought you had unlimited wealth." "I can turn anything into gold. Anything. Stone. Dirt. My own daughter…" He sighed. "As you might expect, I've had a lot of time to think on this. It's all a question of supply and demand." "I don't follow. If everyone had gold then everyone would be rich, right?" "Nope. Then gold would be worthless. See, currency is based on scarcity. In addition, I didn't simply create a one-time increase in the supply, which could have resulted in a new balance, but instead was constantly adding new amounts of gold to the world market. Inflation increased. You see I'd not considered…" Cornellia's eyes began to glaze over as he lectured on about microeconomics, macroeconomics, supply versus demand, adjustable tariff rates, bond issuing, priming the pump, and other theories of economics that bored her out of her mind. "Wait, wait, wait," she finally interrupted. "I just need to know if you can give me unlimited wealth." Midas looked surprised. "No, I can't. It's a curse, you see. Like the ears. I suppose you could ask to be cursed, but it's not much of a curse if you want it." "Well, do you know who can help me with my quest?" she asked. "If you want to find the masters of gold and avarice, I suggest you visit Rome. They certainly took all the wealth they could steal from Greece." "Thank you." She tried to think of something else to add. "Have you considered a hat of some type? To cover the ears?" "Oh, I used to wear a cap. But nowadays if I wear a Phrygian Cap people think I'm with the French Revolution. Anyway, I've more or less gotten used to the donkey ears." "Well, thank you for your help." She turned to go. "Wait a minute," Midas called after her, rummaging through his things. Finally he came up with a shining piece of foil. "Here. Take this gold ticket. I got it from some guy named Wonka. It's good for one free trip from Greece to Rome." "Thanks!" she smiled. "I'd give you a kiss or something but…" "Yes, yes. I understand. You best hurry on your way. Cerberus will wake up soon." Cornellia hurried back as she came, heading for her next destination: Rome

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