I am staying behind no matter what he says. Can he not know how much this breaking my own heart? We argue back and forth, "No! I say you have to come with me! Are you not my wife?" He says I have to go with him. What nonsense is this?! I don’t have to go anywhere. How dare he, I am not property! If anything he is mine. That’s when Sean starts to pull me away and I only plant my heels to resist. The harder he pulls, the deeper my heels dig in, knees bent. I will not be moved. Most of the others have already left the cave.

Sean surprises me by suddenly letting go, only to have a go to knock me off my feet to carry me off. I am barely ahead of his movements making myself a veritable squirming mass of flailing arms and legs trying not to hurt him, but to keep myself from being bodily removed. Poor Toad is voicing his displeasure at being squashed. My back is against the wall when Sean stops trying to get me off the ground. Both our chests are slightly heaving from the struggle. I can feel the pounding of his heart against mine. He holds me tight somewhat pinned against the wall. I can feel his warm breath in my ear, “Please,” he pleads, “I love you.”

A part of me wants to cry as he says that. What the hell is wrong with me? Am I really falling in love? I like the way he feels. I like the way he feels against me. I like the way he feels familiar to me.

I’ve been a mess since the gods made this match. I try to explain why I’d be a danger, but he won’t listen to reason. He places a finger on my mouth. I can feel the calluses from his years from the bow. I beg with my eyes to just go. Don’t make this harder. He leans in for a soft kiss. Another degree of my armor fades away. He holds my face captive as he covers it with tender kisses that ask me to go. My hands are resting on his chest. There is no reason to push him away now…

"Come on, lad, no time for lovemakin' now! Move! We're splitting up, then we'll meet at the Sea Hag at day's end,” says Nion as he gives Sean a shove. I come back from the fog of love partially escaping from his grasp. Sean’s decision is made by Nion’s order.

” Be careful, please, be careful," he implores me with hurt in his eyes. He drops my pack close by before gathering me much more tender this time. He leaves me a kiss that leaves me wanting. He eyes do not meet mine as he darts away. I lose sight of him as he exits. I run to the entrance and stop. Toad ribbits as if he needed to say a farewell. My hand is raised in a sad wave that isn’t seen.

I watch them all scatter like a broken milk weed pod caught in their own winds. Baine and her man are double on their horse, Keu and Nion on their mounts and my sweet Sean on foot. My mares nicker at my appearance as to ask why their new herdmates are leaving. Or maybe they are asking why we are not going with them. I set Toad down from my pocket and bury my face into the gray. The bay lips my shirt.

I won’t cry. I do not have time as there is precious little time before the shadowed riders show up. Besides I have to find my way to the Sea Hag, hopefully…

TBC