“This is what you want,” I retch. A deep, shaking rumble of thunder is the only answer I receive. I wipe my mouth on the back of my hand. I walk with my head spinning. The wood around me is seen from an angle. …hot…soo hot……I leave a trail of clothing behind me, poor Toad is fighting his way from the folds to seemly follow.

Half naked I plead with the powers above and below at the bank of the river. Slowly sinking to my knees I cup my hands with the cool water to wash my mouth out, and then I wash my face. I splash the water on my chest, my breast binding getting soaked. Fat raindrops start to fall. The sky threatens to open up, but it’s waiting…

I sit back drawing my knees in my chest with the water dribbling down my stomach and back, wondering what sort of test this is. What kind of a lesson am I supposed to be learning. Toad croaks somewhere close behind me, I forgot he was in a pocket. The initial shock is slowly wearing off as the cold raindrops fall from the ominous sky.

I lie down on my back. Lightning cracks as Toad crocks again nearer to my head. He followed me? I turn my head to see Toad and start to talk to him, “Are you my watcher? or a familiar?” Toad obviously doesn’t answer, but he sits there watching. “You are a form of reincarnation, a cycle…is that my lesson?” I focus my attention back on the sky.

My husband gave me a toad for my wedding gift, a gift from nature. I was nature. Nature survives. Nature is cruel. Nature is not predictable.

I am to live as the other side lives. My husband is sweet, he could not…we had not even yet. He hasn’t even touched me. Surely Baine would not allow that, even in a band of men. Even thieves and assassins have some honor, do these raiders? I roll over to scrutinize Toad on his level. “I will trust him.” A silhouette catches my eye with the next flash of lightning. I think my eyes are playing tricks on me. Did I see someone? I scoop up Toad and start to look for my cloak and short leine. Then the sky splits open.