Nessie!! We love Nessie in Celtia. The nominees for our next award—no, no. I don't have any joke about Nessie. Okay, maybe one. An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, Nessie tossed him and his boat high into the air. Then it opened her mouth like she intended to swallow him. (Nessie can be really playful sometimes, but she love a good practical joke.) Anyway, as the man sailed head over heels, he cried out, "Oh, my God! Help me!" At once, the ferocious attack scene froze in place, and as the atheist hung in mid-air, a booming voice came down from the clouds, "I thought you didn't believe in Me!" The man said, "Come on God, give me a break!! Two minutes ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster either!"

The nominees for Best Revenge Perpetrated on Whole Villages by a Monster in a Leading Role are:

• Godzilla for "It's My Village and I'll Squish Who I Want to"
• Kitsune in "Foxy Lady"
• Mr. Giant in "I KNOW You Aren't Cutting Down My Beanstalk, Jack"
• and the Dragon in "Night of the Burning Knights"