Ah thank you, thank you very much. It's seldom one is offered roles that allow one to demonstrate the full scope of one's talent. Alas, we live in degenerate times. George Romero had the audacity to offer me a part in Dawn of the Dead, but only if I'd work for scale! I had to explain to him that I'm not a reptile.

And then there was the fool who wanted me for Return of the Lone Ranger. One word suffices: "silver bullets." At least he won't be troubling anybody again.

I'd like to thank all the little people who have made my career so meaningful. Especially the crunchy little people. *coughs* A small joke there.

But seriously, a Boolywood career rests on the work and dreams of many people. It's not enough to be good—even the best of us suffer inevitable reverses from time to time. Bona Fortuna is a fickle goddess. And that's why I'd like to thank the man who almost single-handedly is responsible for my Boolywood comeback: Rod Serling, whose great song—hmm. Wait a moment. That was Rod Stewart!

I'm talking about Michael Jackson! The man who re-popularized the cemetery and the deep woods, to say nothing of the amusement park, as venues of horror!

And now I'm off across the pond to star in the remake of Warewolf in Londinium.

So thank you all for the honor you do me. Thank you and good night!

Good night, Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are!