XXII: Twilight of the Gods

Author: * Heraklia Aelius - 34 Posts on this thread out of 7,379 Posts sitewide.
Date: Dec 28, 2002 - 10:48

[Another Happy Hour at the high-up resort on Olympus, cloud-capped, full of gorgeous palaces, quarreling deities, and desperate for entertainment. It was, after all, the desultory post-Saturnalia-debauch period, and ill temper and boredom had led to strange deific behaviors. There was, as ever, an ongoing red-hot game of Dei Poker amongst the lesser godlets. From somewhere, Mercury had acquired a rather squalid parcel from the lowlands, and was poring over it with occasional hoots of mirth, while the Nectar passed blithely from divi hand to divi hand. The ever-languid Venus had strolled over to Mercury to add critical notes. Apparently, several of the Subrostrani - well-known to the Divines, if not, perhaps, in the biblical sense - had gone and tangled themselves up again, and were sending frequent requests for aid and advice. The last time that happened, Jupiter himself had to resort to thunderbolts and the Forum had barely survived the conflagration. The head man had left strict orders to leave the Romans to their own devices - and disasters - in future. However, all in all, messing about with mortal plot-lines was far more amusing than watching "The Sopranos" [and far more final] so Mercury and Venus were willing to risk it.]

Venus [reading aloud from a badly burned piece of papyrus]:

Rome’s bane can be found in Athena’s breast.

Well, that’s not quite got the ring of our old friend Homer - but it’s clear enough!

Mercury: This one’s a bit more down to earth - what old Anticus sent off to Rome. [adjusting his reading glasses]: In haste - kidnapped - warn Severus - fatal pignus - negative Aeneas; Lysmachos in Pergamon! Vade Mecum - PHI.” Actually, considering he was scratching it on camel toilet tissue while under massive guard, to stick in an amphora that ended up with the Inca Queen, he maintains remarkably good penmanship!

Venus [under her breath]: Oh, oh, look. Mistress Anal-Retentiveness has picked up on this. Shall we tell her?

[Sure enough, the divine Athena - patroness of the Subrostrani in vague general, and the great city of Pergamon in particular, had tired of Dei Poker [at which she always cleaned out the rest] and was wandering over, Hedwig the snowy owl perched on her shoulder. Small trails of bird droppings marred the otherwise immaculate gloss of her gown, but her mind was sharp as ever. She’d had a soft spot for this lot of Roman loonies from the beginnings of (A.S.) time.]

Athena: My dears, what mischief are you up to now?

Mercury: [passing over the toilet tissue] Our old friends are up to no good it seems - again. Anticus has gone and gotten himself kidnapped by camel traders, and the rest are in various stages of disarray.

Athena: [scanning - she was always a speed reader]: Why, it looks like they started out in my favorite temple! I always had a weakness for Athena Nikephorus in Pergamon. Nice statue of me, actually, although they didn’t do Hedwig justice.

Venus: There’s a magical incantation over THERE . . . see, under the wine stain? I like “seek Lysimachos’ heir in Dionysus’ lair.” Somebody down there has poetic skills right up there with Cicero’s. Excuse me while I upchuck.

Mercury [briskly]: Well, the question is, my darlings - do we feel like a wee bit of mortal intervention? At this point, I’d say their chances are less than nil - after all, our old friend PHI is behind this, as usual.

Venus: [fretfully] But what does it all mean ?

Athena [eyeing her with distaste]: The benefits of a classical eddication, dear. I knew you shouldn’t have stopped after the IIIrd Form, although you certainly did well enough in form generally. Do you need a sketch, or shall I just explain it all to you?

Mercury [yawning]: After all, they’ve got Aelius - they’ll figure it out, if they’re permitted enough time.

[And settling down with another cup of Nectar, Athena begins her exposition, which clarifies all the dimensions of this unbelievably complicated plot. You, dear Reader, not yet being on Olympus, will have to wait for it elsewhere!]

Mercury: [firmly] Well, I say - let’s have a go. We can hardly do any worse than they’ve already done, and it will pass the time.

Athena [smugly]: Anticus always favored me, actually. And he and Aeneas were always my boys.

Athena [with decision]: Well, let’s split up the job. You, Mercury, keep an eye on Heraklia, Aelius, and the Druid in Ship # 1. Venus, you watch over the good ship Polaris - there’s a nasty surprise coming up, I shouldn’t be surprised. And I’ll take on Pergamon and the missing Thews and gold. They may hide it from mortals, but they can’t hide the truth from the gods!!

Mercury [flexing his wee ankle wingies]: I’ll put a girdle about the earth in 90 minutes. Let’s TO IT, pards!

TBC