Finally, I've had enough abuse from both mother and son! While Lotus has Herme by the neck, I slip away from the table and deposit Junior in the nest. As I start to walk away, there is a searing pain in my rump. Nope! Not the kid this time. Herme has decided that it's time for me to start being a good "Daddy Ostrich" and watch over the wee one while she steps out for a bit to eat. She pokes and prods until I settle myself, not on the nest, but somewhat behind. I dare not sit on the little feller, as my bulk is somewhat greater than that of the typical ostrich. Since I am also lacking the feathers on my breast, Junior has to settle for second best. I wrap him in my cloak and trap him between my knees. From there, he can do little damage with that inquisitive beak. At least, that is my fervent hope!

Once Herme has decided that I am finally taking my new "daddy-ship" in a sufficiently serious manner, she turns and trots out the door. Within five minutes, she is back with the biggest, blackest beetle I have ever seen. With an imperious "Glump!", she drops the delectable morsel on the floor in front of the two of us. The legs are still wiggling and the pincers are still snapping. She picks it up and drops it again, nudging Junior's head in the direction of the critter.

PEEEEP!!! he exclaims, and hides his head under my leine. (Lordy! That tickles!)

Apparently, Herme believes I am supposed to set some kind of example for the kid. My fit of giggles is brought to an abrupt end by a sharp rap on the noggin! She gives me THE LOOK! and another rap before I get the message. Gingerly, I reach out and grab the critter where it can't grab me. With my other hand, I manage to extricate Junior from my undergarments. I wave the bug in front of his face and I am greeted by another frightened, "PEEEEEEEPPPP!!!!" Herme bops me again, then makes snapping motions in front of my face. After several repetitions, I finally get the message.

I'm supposed to EAT this THING???

Well, I suppose it can't be much worse than Hera's Dormice roasted in piñon nuts! I try to put on a good face (a brave one), and put the thing up to my mouth. Using every bit of self-control I can muster, I bite off one of the legs. "Crunch!" Hmmm... Not too bad! Once you get through the chitinous exterior, the meat has a rather delicate flavor. I rip of another leg and hold it out for Junior, making yummy, lip-smacking noises. He looks from me to the beetle leg and then back again. With a lunge, he snaps the thing from my fingers, taking a healthy bit of my own flesh in the process.

It is not long before we have run out of legs and have to start working on the serious part of this bug business. With due caution, I disable the bug's pincers by allowing it to grab my kash sipper. Once it has a firm grip, I wave it in front of Junior's beak. With a "WHAP!" and a "SNAP!", the body of the beetle vanishes.... along with my kash sipper. Junior makes a couple of gulping movements and it's gone.

Ooooh! That's gonna hurt in the morning!