I'd love to hire some help for my ostrich ranch, Apil's Hill of Ostrich Offer-age . I considered Huns for the job - they are small of stature and excellent at riding and herding. But Gods above, what would happen if they like ostriches? Would history accept Europe being overrun by barbarians riding ostriches? I surely would love to see Odin riding ‘ostrich-back'. I've learned from experience that they don't come with shock-absorbers. However....they kicked my butt during the Ostrich Affair [this post and the following three, then come about 10 posts in which Cail receives accolades for her promotion. The Ostrich Affair re-started with this post and about the next 30 or so hilarious posts]. Now if you'll excuse me....There's a gorgeous young lady waiting for me over there. *Returning to Louisa, I can't overcome my urge to mooch....even though she's correct in that it's her turn to mooch off me. I decide to try to mooch again off Cail.* Here now Cail...I have a wondrous bit of magic to perform for you. You see, I have these three half-walnut shells and this bean. I put the bean under this shell and now keep your eye on that shell. *My hands literally fly into a blur as I move one shell and another, then the third, whippin' the second one around, then the...(whoops, where'd the 4th one come from). I'm just about to my climax, when Cail smashes the three shells with a hammer and says, I can make your head disappear as easily as you can make the bean disappear, shaking the hammer at me. My mind whirrs for a bit, I glance at Louisa, at Cail, at the hammer......and reach for my money.