Why Hellloo there, sad little man! Stratdisaster, is it? Oh, did a rotton tomato foul up your garden of dreams? The full moon hit your eye and make it black and blue? Shrimpy sea cucumber all bogged down? Don't drown your sorrows in self pity anymore Honey, because Ursulah the Sea Witch is here. I can make it allllllllll better.

BWAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAHHHHHHHH!

Just tell me what you want, what you really really want, and we will discuss payment options later. Don't be afraid, Honey. I won't bite. Come on and tell Auntie Ursulah what's the matter?