Addisonius sighed as he looked around in vain for a new tunic. There wasn't anything in the cupboard worth appropriating. Therefore, he decided that it would be best to wait until Lalika was sober enough to go buy another. Until then, he could stand having nothing at all in place of a tunic - the serving girls liked it better, anyway.

"I am afraid," Addisonius said to Lalika, "that you knocked yourself cold, got up, vomited on my tunic, fainted, smashed this chair, got up again, and asked me what was going on. And, as for your sword..."

He scratched his chin.

"...Your sword..."

He looked around.

"Oh, here it is. I've been sitting on it."

He noted with horror that it had ripped his garments in a terribly embarrassing place.

"Oh Hades..."

He turned to Cail, his face mournful. "This is dreadful. Look...ummm...do you know of a clothes stand or something? Umm... And how much would you pay to a male stripper anyway?"

Suddenly, his voice was muffled as the ostrich ran forward madly in his direction after shaking off Tomi. An angered, baleful look was in its black eyes, despite the silly movement of its eyelashes. It made loud and fearful cries, sending all of the Babylonians scurrying out of the way in abject terror. The powerful bird slammed hard against the by now half-naked Roman, sending him flying through the air.

"Heel, you vile ostrich!" shouted Addisonius, struggling to get up. The ostrich sniffed in the air angrily, kicked up some dust, and ran in his direction once again. "This is terribly unfortunate. I haven't even had time to draw up my will yet. Dreadful. You may bury me 'neath a flow'ry mound."

He then manfully girded his loins and acted in the only way open to him, leaping boldly forward with a battle cry at the ostrich, determined either to conquer or be beaked to death. The smoke of battle descended over the two figures, and when all cleared there lay on the ground a slightly dazed Addisonius, who was carrying a platter on which sat a freshly roasted ostrich. It was clear as to who the victor had been. It was also clear that the Roman was remarkably fast in preparing this, his favorite dish.