OK, my dears, we're getting down to it! JoJo and I will attempt to post some hints and suggestions for the First-Time (or returning) victim - er, TOURIST - for what to do on those lazy afternoons when we've nothing planned.

Here's my own "Personal Best" of things to do that, IMHO, you CANNOT miss and say you've been to The Big Easy:

a) Walk to Jackson Square, find one of the corner bars, hang out and watch the madness. Mimes, dancers, singers, tattoo artists, fortunetellers, and artists. This is the very heart of the Quarter. Find time to go to the Cafe du Monde on the corner and have chicory coffee and hot beignets deluged in powdered sugar and people watch.

b) Don't miss the Louisiana state history museum at The Cabildo. In this anniversary year of the Louisiana purchase, it was SIGNED right here in this 18th-century building - a real wealth of Louisiana history in the original Spanish government building! (yes, I said Spanish. New Orleans was French for decades, then Spanish for decades, then French again - then American. A "Creole" is a native-born New Orleanian of Spanish or French blood)

c) Be sure to have a drink and/or eat at ALL the following local institutions:

1) The Napoleon House at the corner of Chartres (pronounced "Charters") and St. Louis. Sleazy, 200 years old, cranky, weird, and wonderful.

2) Acme Oyster House on either Iberville or Bienville - ask, everyone knows it. One of the best places on earth to get a fried oyster po-boy, the indigenous sandwich, or a dozen raw oysters. If you're brave, try it with a Dixie beer.

3) Gallatoire's - 209 Bourbon Street - for that wonderful dinner. My FAVORITE in NOLA, which is saying a lot.

4) A nightcap at The Bombay Club bar - 830 Conti Street - at the Prince Conti hotel. Decadent and fun. Sortof Casablanca does Raffles.

5) Ditto at Lafitte's Blacksmith Shop (yeah, THAT Lafitte). One of the few 18th century houses in NOLA it's falling apart, run down, sleazy, full of weirdos, and authentically NOLA.

d) Take the St. Charles Avenue Streetcar from St. Charles Avenue (right across Canal Street from the Quarter's Royal Street) allllllll the way uptown to Audubon Park. Slow, easy, no air conditioning (you won't need it) and a wonderful way to see one of the most beautiful Avenues in America.

e) For some fun sleaze, check out the Conti Wax Museum on Conti street (just down the street from Prince Conti hotel) . . . a really bizarre introduction to Louisiana history that doesn't look like it's changed since Madame Tussaud was around. I like the one of Andy Jackson planning the Battle of New Orleans with Lafitte the pirate!

f) If you're a jazz purist, of course, there's Preservation Hall, full of elderly musicians who've been playing jazz since Louis Armstrong was a lad. But the whole Quarter seethes with music and music shops. On Friday, buy the local newspaper with "Lagniappe" which is a guide to all clubs, bars, singers, actors, and more throughout New Orleans. ("Lagniappe" is the idea of throwing in something a little extra to seal the deal. Pronounced LAN-YAP)