Once upon a time, there was a little boy who was tall for his age.

So, when he was four years old, his parents thought it was a good idea to take him to the Lincoln Park Zoo.

This was a good idea, as he got to see all of the animals, exotic and otherwise and have a lot of fun.

Yeah, he was happy.

Until they came to the bear.

Now, understand, the bear was dead. Dead, stuffed and mounted and in front of a camera concession that encouraged parents to get their kids to pose, sitting on top of the bear. A stuffed, dead bear which, to a very imaginative four year old, looked very much alive and scary as all hell.

In short, the little boy who was tall for his age was not going anywhere near that monster.

Father: Hey, kiddo, climb up on the bear for your picture.
LBWWTFHA: NOOOO! IT'S GOING TO EAT ME!!!
Mother: Oh, don't be silly, see (going up and hugging the bear), it's not going to eat you.
LBWWTFHA: NOOOO! IT'S GOING TO EAT ME!
Father: Oh, Christ! Get on the damn bear!

It was at this point that the little boy who was tall for his age got slipped a massive dose of Thorazine by the park photographer who just wanted to get past this crap and take the damn picture.