The Drawing Room No. 38 Brook Street Mayfair Morning "More coffee, sir?" Burrows offers. Seated at the piano, I absently raise the porcelain cup and saucer, never taking my eyes off the sheet music before me. I mumble an unintelligible please with a buttered muffin clenched between my teeth. Burrows grimaces as muffin crumbs fall into the padded, velvet cushion of the piano bench. "May I help you select a piece, sir?" Burrows asks, brushing the crumbs into a rubbish bin. "Certainly not, Burrows," I warn. "It is the 20th century, and I'm afraid your tastes are rather archaic as you must be nearly one hundred and eighty-seven years old." "Will you be playing George M. Cohan, then, sir?" My eyes widen, and I nearly spit out my coffee in surprise. "Don't be vulgar, Burrows." I wish to end the conversation there, but my curiosity is piqued. "How on earth do you know about Cohan?" "I've read the New York notices for Little Johnny Jones, sir. The musical comedy is enjoying great success at the Liberty Theatre." "Musical comedy. Is that what they're calling it now?" I murmur with feigned indifference, all the while considering classifying The Gypsy Queen as such. Flipping through the pages and pages of sheet music before me, I finally come to something suitable. "Pelléas et Mélisande, I think. Burrows, have we the record for this opera?" "I am certain we have, sir." "Capital. Be sure it's playing when Miss Cooper arrives." "Very good, sir." Burrows turns to leave but stops and over his shoulder asks, "Shall I lay out your things, or will you be carrying out the day in your dressing gown, sir?" With all the preparations, I've nearly forgotten to make myself presentable for my new pupil. "Ah, yes. A bath first, Burrows. Thank you. What would I do without you?" "Enjoy some peace and quiet, I expect, sir?" Burrows quips before disappearing into the foyer. Today is the first day of Miss Alice Cooper's savoir-vivre lessons. According to Sir Horace, elocution and deportment are paramount and must be taught in a variety of contexts. With the help of Nola, Mrs Trevelyan, Sukie, and Burrows, the syllabus will include conversation, entertaining, hostessing and holding receptions, proper correspondence, dress conventions, sense of occasion, meal planning, wine and food pairing, floral decoration, music and art appreciation... the list goes on. By the time I am bathed and dressed, Nola has been received and is waiting in the drawing room. Debussy is playing on the gramophone. My dear Penelope is very smart in a lovely, indigo toilette de visite. I greet her indecorously with an impassioned kiss; propriety can wait until Miss Cooper arrives.