Message: Murder in the House of Varrus!!! ( Chapter IX )
Author: L. Didius Silva
Originally Posted: October 16, 2000 (reposted with the permission of the author)


I awoke in the same position I'd fallen asleep - sitting up. I was so stiff I could hardly move. There was just enough time to get to the Baths.

"Demetrios! Grab a couple of clean tunics and my light chain mail. We're going to the Baths!" My slave Demetrios had been an expensive but wise investment. He was a well-educated Athenian, fluent in several languages and multiple dialects. He'd been freeborn. But because of several unwise investments and an absolutely uncanny knack for backing the wrong color in the Great Circus, had to sell himself into slavery to pay his debts. I'd even been able to recoup a part of my investment by one simple rule: whatever team Demetrios recommends - bet on the other. I prefer the Baths of Titus. It's smaller than some but had "Melon," the best blind masseur in the Urbs. After an hour there, I was ready to crawl back into bed.

I arrived early at "The Sign of the Owl", but Piso was still there ahead of me. He'd been sitting by the fountain and sauntered over to me when I stopped at the door. I pounded on the door. Even through the thick planking, I could tell a party was in progress. A small lookout door, about 12" square opened up and the noise washed over us. A face, pitted and scarred from the pox, peered out at us.

"Waddyawant!" I showed him my silver SA disc.

"We need to speak to Aelia."

"Shesnothere!" SLAM

I looked over at Piso. He shook his head. I stepped back out of his way.

"BAM! BAM! BAM" his size 15" boots slammed into the door. The little door opened and the same ugly face poked out.

"HEY! Stop'at! I don't care whose youse guys are! Isezz....." Whatever he was going to "sezz" was cut off by Piso. Piso grabbed the bouncer's beard in his right hand and the back of his head with his left, and yanked him through the opening.

"Listen Friend!" said Piso, "You can either pull that bolt now, or the rest of you can join us out here."

"AWRight! AWRight!" We heard the clank of bolt being withdrawn. Piso pushed open the door, shoving the bouncer out of our way. We stepped into the Peristylium. The bouncer, who had been sent sprawling, came up at us with a knife in his hand.

"GORGO! Put it away. That's no way to treat customers. GORGO!?!?" The soft, but authoritative voice came from a woman standing in the shadow of the collonade. Slowly Gorgo put the knife back in his belt, giving us the "evil-eye" all the time.

"You really should feed him more red meat," I said.

"SILVA?!?! Is that you?" She ran and threw herself into my arms and began kissing my face.

"Oh Cuddles! It's been ages since I last saw you."

"Cuddles???" inquired Piso.

"That's Centurion Cuddles to you," I replied. At the sound of Piso's voice, Aelia looked over my shoulder. "Snook'ems!!! You here too! She pulled away from me, ran and jumped in Piso's arms.

"Snook'ems???" I inquired.

"Thats Tribune Snook'ems to you, Silva."

"Someday Aelia, you know you're going to have to choose between the two of us," I said.

"Why?" she laughed, "I'm more than enough woman for the both of you!" She put her arms around our waists and dragged us toward the party.

"The Sign of the Owl" was one of the premier establishments in Roma. It was the most expensive. But you definitely got what you paid for. Aelia's staff was the best in the Empire, or out of it, for that matter. There was never less than 20 ladies in house at any one time and another 100 on call within a ten minute walk. Once a new customer was seated, Aelia would send her girls over 5 at a time until a choice was made. Her regulars were given SPECIAL treatment and catered to in every possible way, for a price of course. Besides her ladies, Aelia's cooks were the envy of the Imperial kitchens. Her dancers, singers, and musicians were unequaled. Her first floor had large and small banquet facilities with a beautiful pool and fountain. The second floor was given over to sleeping cubicles and a waiting area for the girls.

Besides the obvious, "the Sign of the Owl" was the standard meeting place for every politician, general, banker, shipping magnate, and businessman in the Empire. It was said that here, more deals and agreements were concluded, more careers made or broken, than in the Senate and boardrooms of the entire Urbs combined.

"You boys didn't happen to come all the way over here just to see me for old times sake, did you Silva?"

"No Aelia. We need to talk to you in private."

"About the Varrus Murder? Don't look so shocked, Silva. All Roma knows about it by now, C'mon."

We walked around the edge of the Atrium. It was filled with partygoers. Slaves wandered through the crowd carrying trays of wines and delicacies. A handsome youth, standing on the edge of the Impluvium, seemed to have cornered the market on feminine attention. His black hair, instead of being curly and cut short in the Roman manner, was long and straight. It was liberally coated with olive oil. The sides were combed strait back and looked like greasy duck wings; while the top was combed forward so that it hung over his eyes like a waterfall. He was strumming a lyre and singing something about "Baby don't you, step on my red leather caligae", or something close to that. It WAS pretty noisy in there.

"Who's the songbird?" I inquired.

"His name's Presslius Elvus. His parents come from the Subura District. I like to give new talent a chance. You can see he's REAL popular." Presslius Elvus jumped off the Impluvium and stared dancing through the girls, swinging his hips around in a suggestive manner. The girls shrieked and some of them even fainted.

"You'd better tell him to be careful. He might break something." Aelia laughed and said: "He hasn't yet, Silva."

Copyright © 2000-2001, L. Didius Silva. All Rights Reserved. All copyrighted material is the property of the original author.