The noble Drusus agreed to join my sister and I to dine. It made for an interesting evening. The evening started well enough, with food and dancers and wine. He seemed distracted throughout the entertainment and I asked him why. He turned to me with a wan expression and replied.
"As much as I have enjoyed the company of you and your sister tonight, I fear that I know your reasons for bringing me here." He turned and looked at Lollia as she reclined on a gilded couch, and said.
"Your questions at the gatherings of my Mother have not gone unnoticed Lady. You need to be more careful or suffer her wrath."
Lollia was indifferent but I gazed at him shrewdly, noting his handsome face. After waving away my slaves I leaned closer to him so that our arms met, and I could smell his wine, laden breath.
"Do our aims converge?" I whispered softly so that prying ears may not hear.
"They do, though it is a dangerous game we play," he whispered back. It was in that moment that I could see the inner turmoil within his dark, grey eyes. It was a struggle between his loyalty to his Emperor, and his desire for the restoration of the Republic. I took his hand in mine and pulled him closer as Lollia spoke.
"Is it a fear that Augustus cannot be persuaded to resign from the monarchy, or is it your Mother that you fear?" She asked bluntly. Drusus looked at her for a long while before replying.
"Augustus is a good, and great man. He secretly desires to retire to private life but it is the workings of my mother that keep him there. As long as he remains Emperor she can keep her grasp upon the empire. With no Emperor there will be no need for her. She is building a dynasty that my brother will rule when Augustus is gone. And yes Lady you are correct, I fear the workings of my mother. It is said that she once was bitten by a snake, and it died from the bite," he said sadly.
"Cannot you pursuade Augustus to retire?" I asked softly. His beautiful face darkened as he replied.
"All those who try end up floating face down in the Tiber. I have no wish to join them, I have a wife and family that needs me."
"Then we find ourselves in a difficult position then, don't we?" I replied. I turned to Lollia and bade her to leave. As she left I pulled Drusus closer to me again. His eyes met mine and I saw the sadness that plagued him.
"Your sister needs to be careful with her questioning, she has not evaded my Mother's eye," he said.
"I will warn her," I replied. "It is well known amongst the nobility that your mother favours Tiberius over you. Do you not fear her actions when you are no longer needed? There is only so much time you can spend subduing the Germanic tribes before you are recalled to Rome on one pretext or the other." He looked at me shrewdlt before he answered.
"As long as Augustus lives I am safe."
"Then pray that Augustus lives a long and happy life my friend. If you were to be desposed, then I do not belive that Antonia and your children would be spared." He did not respond, he merely ran a calloused hand over my arm.
"Let us not think of Antonia whilst we are here alone together," he whispered. "Let whisper our secrets to the dark where none may hear."
He moved his face close to mine and laid a gentle kiss upon my lips.
"The Republic makes for strange bedfellows," he said as he pulled me close and kissed me again.

The Emperor is away at Lesbos, seeing his old friend Agrippa who is prefect there. In his absence the Republicanists have taken to the streets, and Livia was forced to turn the guards out onto the street. My heart lightened to see the sight of so many comrades still fired with the heat of the Republic.
The following morning, I entered the Senate to participate with the day's proceedings. Livia's son, Drusus was in attendance and the debate was if a triumph was to be awarded to his brother Tiberius for his efforts in Germania. It has long been know of Drusus' feelings for the republic so i find myself wondering if it is worthwhile coveting his friendship. My sister Lollia has warned me against any open movement. She warned of the retribution that may follow, she used Marius as an example. I feel that I may invite the noble Drusus to dine, he is more amiable than his brother and may be a useful ally.

When I was a child, the Sente was the heart of the Empire. The great men within would decide the fate of our great nation with loyalty and honour in their hearts. Those days I fear are gone. I sat in session today watching with disgust as the Senate heaped praise after praise upon Augustus. He is to be awarded a Triumph for his part in the battle of Actium and it shall be proclaimed a national holiday for the years to come.
I must say that I was shocked to see the humbleness with which Augustus received his many titles, though I fear like Julius it may be a facade for something darker. He made an impassioned speech as to how he would leave Rome a city of marble and expand our borders. He plans to subdue the Germanic tribes of the Rhine, and to claim Alexandria as a province of Rome. My sister Lollia has been privy to the workings of his wife. She has been invited to many banquets given in the Imperial palace by Livia and is loath to report the schemings, and sinister workings of that most dangerous woman. I fear Augustus will fall foul to her designs for she wishes her brute of a son, Tiberius to suceed her husband. Her other son Drusus is a republican and I also fear things will go ill with him if she chooses to make her move.

It is as I feared............The Senate has lost all sense of courage and elected Augustus as Imperitor, or Emperor.
The days of the republic are gone and we must bow to a new tyrant. Oh I have no doubt he will start in a respectable enough manner, though so did Caesar. I feel shamed to be part of our governing body who is cowed by such a man. I dare not say more. Even in my own journal may his wife discover my views, and that will be the last of Sextus Crassus.

The sun shone down brilliantly in the Forum as I beheld the ruins of the old Senate, house. It was destroyed in the petty skirmishes between Milo and Clodius. Even Pompey's legion was not enough to stem the destruction.
The new Curia shines like a marble sun and it was with trepidation that I approached it. I passed through the bronze doors and beheld Augustus sitting on the consular chair. The rumour mongers claim that he will be made Emperor. When will the people learn that there are no kings in Rome? Was not the deified Julius enough of a tyrant to show this. The hall was gloomy. and the seats filled with tired, old men.
I took my place in my father's seat and surveyed the triumphant General and his dog, Agrippa. Augustus wore his legionary armour, and a wreath on his brow. I found myself wondering what storm this man would bring on Rome? I also fear the influence his wife, the Lady Livia will bring.