Lately, I've been alternately amazed and angered over retail stupidity.

This summer, I picked up a bottle of wine at a local chain grocery store. At the check-out, the clerk asked for proof of age.

WTF? I'm 56, i.e., 35 years legal and with plenty of white hair, yet I get carded.

Not only that, but as I stand at check out, this clerk grabs my wallet from my hand, saying she NEEDS to verify my age.

Look you do NOT grab my wallet. I do not care who you are. I pull it back. She then says to take my driver's license out so she can inspect it. I tell her "No, you can see it in the window of my wallet. You cannot have it." fortunately, she backs off before I have to involve management.

Now, I was just about to chalk this up to just the chance of getting a congenital idiot clerk when I get another example of check out clerk idiocy.

I was in a local WalMart on Thanksgiving Day, picking up some stuff, including a bottle of chianti. the clerk asks me for my date of birth. I look at her and say, "Oh, come on, isn't it obvious?" She at least has the grace to look embarrassed and says it is company policy or some such. so I tell her, "Fine. May 20, 1949." and get out of the store.

On reflection, I think I will try a different tactic the next time this happens. I will look the clerk dead in the eye and say, "May 20, 1929." If they question that, I'll just smile and say I look young for my age and refuse to provide any other proof than my obvious middle age. If that is not good enough for them, well they just lost a sale.

Screw 'em.

A belated update, but...

In late July, I was talking to my landlord about the events on the night of the fire. The tenant who was responsible had been summarily evicted, and rightly so. We, all the other tenants, had come just inches from being homeless due to her near criminal negligence.

Our conversation started out on the subject of another tenant who had become disruptive, as in odd visitors at all hours who were also bothering several neighboring houses and apartment buildings.

My landlord had been talking with the wife of the previously mentioned state senator. Seems as she had been documenting such activity, so my landlord was asking her to testify in court on eviction proceedings, if need be. In the course of the discussion, the state senator's wife asks my landlord if he has ever considered selling our building. She and her socialist senator hubby own several apartment buildings in the neighborhood. My landlord is kind of non-commital and then she drops the bomb.

"You know that big, tall guy in your building?" she says to my landlord.

"umm, yeah. Why?" he responds

"Well, he said some very mean stuff to us on the night of the fire and we know he's the one who turned us in to the city a few years back for not shoveling our walks of snow. We'd like to buy the building and evict him."

What the hell?

She and her husband decide to get their jollies by gawping at others' misfortunes and acting so self-important at the scene, yet get sooo hurt when someone directly affected by the fire and takes them to task for their ghoulish behaviour?

My landlord is, for a number of reasons other than that, not about to sell to them. However, if he had and they had served eviction notice for such a petty, pussified reason, within five minutes, I would have been on the phone to both local papers and all four local TV stations. I would have made that senator's political and private life a living PR hell.

Really, for the first five minutes after I heard that, I was in a white hot rage. Now, it's more of a mild amusement. Probably for the best...

I got rousted out of bed at 2 AM today due to a fire in my apt. bldg.

I am not happy.

A tenant in one of the apt's left something on the stove and fell asleep, apparently.

The bldg. manager got taken off in an ambulance from smoke inhalation.

I got threatened with arrest by a cop and at least two firemen. Seems they took exception to me getting upset that they were wandering around in my apt. 3 separate times. I have a small apt., it would take all of one minute to confirm no one was in there, yet they found it necessary to wander about on 3 separate occasions. It never occurred to them to line everyone up and take roll as to what apt they were in and if everyone was out. It seems that logic is not their strong suit. They also found it dangerously suspicious that I went back to our back parking lot to check on my cat, which I had evacuated to my car.

Yeah. This is the same police dept. who cannot be bothered to come out and investigate when my car was broken into 3 times in 6 months last year, nor last month when I had outgoing bills and with checks stolen nor found it the least bit odd, two years ago, when my daughter's van broke down on the freeway, that six patrol cars drove by w/o stopping to check on her, much less even bothering to slow down to look.

Damn right I'm pissed.

On top of it all, the guy in the house next to our bldg., state Senator Jack Hatch, the local slumlord, socialist and head of the neighborhood association, decided to come out and "be a presence." I had a few choice and very bad words for him. Hope I hurt his widdle feelings.


At any rate, I'm OK, as is my cat The smoke is out of the bldg., the authorities are gone, I called the landlord and let him know (since the fire dept. could not figure out how) but I doubt I am going to be able to sleep much tonight.