A Confession of Obsession: Prances with Coons, or How I became a member of the Clan
April 14, 2006
The Clan of Coon
Posted at 12:00 EST
Long, long ago, and far, far away in a magical wood, lived the mighty Clan of Coon.
The Clan of Coon, counting only the women and children, stood more than a hundred strong. No one knew the entire strength of the Clan, but all the domain knew that their men kept close watch on their families and defended them fiercely.
Theirs was a blessed country, filled with forests, lakes and streams for hunting and fishing. The frogs and skinks were plentiful, as were the delicious rodents and tender shoots. It was a true paradise.
But, nothing lasts forever, and one day Evil entered the lands of the Clan. Huge, noisy yellow animals of metal came and felled the trees, dug up the earth, and hurled the great boulders of Mother Earth into boxes which rode upon the backs of other dusty and dirty metal animals.
Devastation lay across the land, only to be followed by a terrible invasion of pink and brown and yellow animals who built their enormous dens throughout the Clan's favorite hunting grounds.
Now the Great Mother of the Clan was a coon of many years and enormous wisdom. She admonished her kin gently. "Let us learn about these new animals. Perhaps we can benefit from their presence. They also come from Mother Earth."
The Great Mother sent out scouts upon the land, and behold! they returned with wonderful news. These new animals had left offerings to the Clan of Coon. In fact, they had even created a ritual for it. Twice in the space of every seven suns, the tall ones would carry large containers filled with delectable foods to the end of the hard paths leading to their dens.
Nodding in approval, the Great Mother bade her Clan enjoy the offerings of the mysterious new creatures.
And so, on the Night of the Trash, the coons accepted the bounty that was their due. They climbed the barrels and drums, pulled the coverings assunder with their clever hands, and delved into all the aromatic and flavorful offerings. They chose one thing and then another, tossing some to their children and some to their friends, all eating with joyous abandon.
Theirs was a blessed country, filled with forests, lakes and streams for hunting and fishing. The frogs and skinks were plentiful, as were the delicious rodents and tender shoots. It was a true paradise.
The Great Mother sent out scouts upon the land, and behold! they returned with wonderful news. These new animals had left offerings to the Clan of Coon. In fact, they had even created a ritual for it. Twice in the space of every seven suns, the tall ones would carry large containers filled with delectable foods to the end of the hard paths leading to their dens.
And so, on the Night of the Trash, the coons accepted the bounty that was their due. They climbed the barrels and drums, pulled the coverings assunder with their clever hands, and delved into all the aromatic and flavorful offerings. They chose one thing and then another, tossing some to their children and some to their friends, all eating with joyous abandon.