and some bad news. The bad news is: the clutch and the brakes on my truck went out and it'll probably cost me, between the repairs and the lost hours at work, somewhere in the neighborhood of $1k to get it fixed. The good news is: I'll be off work at least until Monday, when my truck is due to be finished. So for at least the next two or three days, I should have time to get some serious inroads made on the yard and house work, some work done on my mss., and some time to play on AW. There's a good side to every crisis. At least, the suckers went out at home, and I was able to coax my little Blue Boy down to Jerry's Auto, and my mechanic Bob's magic screwdriver. It could have been worse. The clutch could have gone at night, leaving me stranded by the side of the road; or the brakes could have gone while I was driving, and wound up killing me or worse, someone else.

Well, all things have a reason behind their occurrence. For some reason, I guess I am not supposed to be at my store for the next few days, and I am supposed to be at home. But it's still depressing, to think of my next two paychecks, which will be missing all those hours.

And the Food Network is going to be taping at my store this weekend for one of their programs, and I'm going to miss it... there goes my chance to be on t.v. Oh, well. I never did like having my picture taken.

these days, it seems like another crisis hits! There are times when I think the universe has turned the whole world into a giant pin-ball machine, with me as the one that gets ratcheted around... oh, well. It keeps rl from getting dull and boring! Kat called last night, and asked how I was doing, and I told her I'm having a nervous breakdown... by slow degrees.

My Union Rep has been out of the country for a couple of weeks, and naturally, when the Union cat is away, the corporate rats will play. On a more positive note, at last she's back, and when she heard the six million messages I left on her voice-mail, she called me, and then made a surprise visit to my store... I do trust she nailed at least some of the contract violations management has been perpetrating. No doubt I will find out when I go into work tomorrow. For today, however, I am off, and despite the fact that I have a list of things to do as long as my arm, I am going to play on site a little. I've been having AW withdrawal symptoms, and it's past time to end them. I've gotten so far out of the loop, I feel like a visitor from the outer planets.

I am currently enduring -- not too peacefully -- a re-fi on my house, and when it goes through, I will hopefully be in a position where I no longer have to rent out the apartment upstairs. If that most desirable of conditions is created, I will be able to turn the space into much more congenial uses. A Reiki room, a guest room or two, and space for the classes now getting organized... maybe even a sewing/crafts room, so I can get the stuff out of my dining room. I can hope...

I spent six hours at the keyboard yesterday, re-reading 'The Heirloom'. I haven't looked at it for years; but someone expressed interest in it a couple of days ago, and I think I might do a re-write on it, with the aim of making it publishable in a new form that eliminates all references to LOTR. I also have someone who's looking at 'Faberge', even though it's still not finished. Then there are the historical romance, and the fantasy novel I have in the works, and a collection of short stories I've been gradually putting together. And, of course, there are always the new story ideas that keep bombarding me while I'm trying to do other things... It's a definite handicap to have to do other stuff, when all I really want is to write!

the keyboard and play, I get interrupted. For more than a month now, all I've been able to do on line is check my e-mail! But, hopefully, things are winding down -- FINALLY! -- to a slower pace in rl, and I'll have a little time to spare for the cyberworld...

The stewards' conference in Breckenridge is over; the re-fi on the house is all but over; my yard is still looking like a vacant lot, but I am making progress against the weeds; and I've started studying and practising qi gung (with, I might add, great results so far, since I am combining it with Reiki). I was actually able to get to the library yesterday, and discovered two marvelous treats in the dvds there: the 1970's BBC production of 'Cousin Bette', with Margaret Tysack and Helen Mirren, and the 1938 flick 'Pygmalion' with Leslie Howard and Wendy Hiller. Great stuff! And today I've actually got a little time to stay on line for a bit. (I've only been interrupted twice!) Life is good...

Of course, gas prices are awful, the fires are burning in California, the Mississippi is going through its annual flood, I still have floors to sand and refinish upstairs before I can show the apartment to prospective new tenants, and the new manager at my store is still being a witch with a capital B: but, hey, it's an imperfect world, still a work in progress. Kind of like 'Faberge', which I thought to have finished by February, but which is still not done, since I haven't been able to spend more than a few minutes a day at the keyboard for what seems like forever... And now I have to go: there's a dog and four cats waiting for breakfast, a house that needs cleaning, a weed-whacker that needs repair and recharging, more weeding and planting to do, and I have to work tonight from 5 to midnight, so no more play-time today... maybe tomorrow...

to spare to write this, but it's been such a long time -- it seems like years! -- since I have written, or been able to play on site, that I just have to write. We have a new manager at my store, and she has messed things up royally. There are so many people in the store who are annoyed with her because of her so-called 'improvements' that I have been hard-pressed to convince them not to file charges against her for creating a hostile work environment. This has been especially difficult because I'm quite annoyed with her myself. For one thing, she has totally messed up scheduling, and I am getting stuck with more shifts than I want, at later hours than I prefer. The result, naturally, is to cause my time schedule to be thrown totally out of whack.

Add to that the termination of one of my checkers for sexual harassment in a case that has everyone in an uproar, and life at work has not been pleasant for some time now. I feel so sorry for my checker! He's a good kid who's never been in any kind of trouble before this, everyone in the store thinks the world of him, and nothing was more shocking than to find him accused and convicted of the charge. He's suffering all the pangs of unrequited love, and he saw the object of his affections kissing another guy in the parking lot, wrote a scurrilous passage, and it was seen by the wrong person. So, the fat was truly in the fire. We're fighting to get him re-instated, but the outlook right now is bleak, indeed. The older I get, the harder life seems to be, especially for the kids.

Plus, I am in the middle of re-financing my house, trying to get my taxes done, and one of my kitties died last night, quite unexpectedly. And, of course, there was Mothers' Day to get through: always a hard day for me. One would think, after all the deaths I've seen, that I would be able to deal with it more effectively, and with less of an upset. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to work that way. Instead of getting easier, it gets harder, despite the fact that I know death to be only a passage from one state of being to another, and have not the smallest of qualms in facing the prospect of my own. Lady Noir was one of Ione's kitties, and I know she's much happier to be with her mistress than she was here; yet I still feel grieved at her leaving. I am now down to four kitties, two of whom are past their fourteenth birthdays, and I am reduced to only one lady: Miss Callie Girl. "Life goes on, though good men die; Life goes on: I forget just why." Those are the final two lines of a poem by Ezra Pound. I used to think he was unduly pessimistic. Now, I'm not so sure...

recommended a website to my attention called 'journaltherapy.com', and I have had a good deal of enjoyment exploring it recently: when I have had the time, that is. I haven't had time to do much more on line than check my e-mail accounts, and check in for messages elsewhere.

Things have gotten a bit hectic for me in the recent past. We've had a contract extension offer from the corporations to deal with, and Anna Lord has kicked off her campaign for house district 21 here. Anna is a Democrat, and she has much to offer as a candidate. I do hope she wins this election. She'll make an excellent representative. I have seldom met any candidate since the Kennedy brothers who compels my admiration the way she does.

Her husband, Tom Lord, regularly does the shopping for their family because Anna is on so many committees she simply doesn't have the time free to do it. Tom is a Republican, as am I, and we had a little conversation at Anna's declaration meeting about the sad state into which Bush and his cohorts have put our party. I was, I confess, a bit surprised to find, at the meeting, many fellow Republicans who came out to support Anna; and I suggested to Tom that we should form a new party, and call ourselves the Republicrats. He thought I was joking...

At the meeting, I met the gentleman who is heading the Obama campaign here in the Springs, and he invited me to attend a meeting tonight at their campaign headquarters. Since I have today off work, and will be free this evening, I think I will go: just to see what's shaking. Politics, especially in a Presidential election year, are great fun. I've never understood people who find the political scene boring. There's nothing more amusing than observing people at a political meeting, especially on the grass-roots level. At one and the same time, one acquires respect for the concept of people being able and willing to govern themselves, and a sort of wry irony in the methods they employ to do so... It's a veritable paradise for a writer!

with clouds covering the mountains, and moisture in the air, although no more snow or rain has fallen. My son's birthday is next week, my taxes still aren't done, and Ariana died two nights ago. I've known her since she was a little girl of seven or so. She passed away quietly in her sleep, and her husband found her in the morning.

Ariana was in a really dreadful car wreck the year my daughter Angel died. The accident left her a quadraplegic, totally paralyzed from the neck down. She has been bed-ridden for the past thirteen years. She was a beautiful young woman, with thick, dark curling hair around a nearly perfect face, lit by two most expressive brown eyes fringed in darkly long lashes, and a teasing mouth full of perennial mischief. While I'm quite sure Ariana is glad to be out of this burg, and in a place where she can move again, she will be missed and mourned here. I called her mother, but have not heard yet when her funeral is to be. This, I think, is one of the burdens of time: to have to witness the trials of the young. Between Zophar and Echo divorcing, and Ariana's death, and a few other problems some of my young friends are having, I find myself feeling a bit depressed.

If I could do it, I'd make their way smooth for them, and that would probably be a serious error of judgment. After all, it is the trials and troubles that are the hammer-blows which shape the soul; but it comes hard to have to witness them, and know one can't do more than that. Ariana will always be, for me, the bright, dancing child of quicksilver laughter. She will be missed.

just as the astrological charts have predicted. I think it will be nice when Pluto rounds its perihelion, and time goes -- or rather, starts to go -- back to a more normal, leisured pace. Mayhap, it will help drop the frantic stresses that seem to be afflicting much of the world. One can hope, anyway!

I have a prospective new tenant coming to view the apartment upstairs on Monday. Hopefully, she and the place will suit. I'd really like not having to go through the advertising schemozzle. James referred her to me, and he is a good judge of people; so I trust his reference. But, we'll see...

Also, I have, I think, acquired a new gardener in Dan. He's one of the cc's who works at my store, and he does gardening and yard work in his spare time. One of the difficulties I have had is the fact that my health prevents my doing much of the more intense physical labor involved in landscaping and gardening. If Dan works out, and I have good hopes he will, then he can do what my health forbids. It's most trying when one knows how to do things, has the tools with which to do them, and can't. Dan is a good, healthy, well-growed lad, who has the energy and the desire to do a great deal, and merely lacks the knowledge and the tools. I can teach him how, and provide the tools for his use. We should work well together. Again: we'll see...

And tonight, we have Masterpiece Theater, presenting 'Sense and Sensibility', the fourth episode of 'John Adams' on HBO, and the first episode of season two of 'The Tudors' on Showtime. Thank goodness for On Demand, and the dvr recorder! Otherwise, I'd probably have to choose which one to see, and I'd miss part of that because I have to work tonight until 8.30. As it is, I can see all of them. Life is good...

I hate to see people in pain; and if ever I've seen anyone in pain, it's the kids. Zophar is smoking like a chimney, which is not normal for him, and Echo has lost so much weight, she's looking like a scarecrow. The real difficulty for me is keeping my mouth shut. I don't believe either one of them really wants this divorce; but neither one is willing to let go of pride and meet the other half-way. And I have to keep reminding myself that all I can do is listen, when they want to talk. They have to find their own way through the business. But it's hard. There are times when I'd like to shake both of them, and send them to a corner, until they learn to play nicely with each other...

Kat was over last night for dinner, and we watched all three of the new 'John Adams' miniseries back-to-back. Thank goodness for 'On Demand'! It's a well-done series. I have always been amazed that so few people really understand what a tremendous accomplishment the Founding Parents did in bringing forth a new nation. I grew up for half of my childhood in New England, and there, it's common knowledge. But step outside of narrow New England, and that changes.

The casting is superb, and best of all is the total resistance to making everybody look pretty. Laura Linney and Paul Giametti portray John and Abigail Adams well, and I was impressed by the young man who portrays Thomas Jefferson, as well. The technical work is most excellent. Real sets and cgi have been so skillfully combined as to be indistinguishable from each other. Altogether, a major find, ranking right up there with 'Rome'. Almost, I have forgiven HBO for ending that series after only two years...

It's been one thing after another. Kat lost one of her kitties to renal failure. Jinx was nearly 14. And the same day that Jinx died, Zophar came down to tell me, when I got home from work, that he and Echo are divorcing. They've been together for nearly five years, even though they've only been married for nine months. So, Echo is moving out, and Zophar will probably be moving, too. His brother is also going through a divorce, and has offered to let the kid rent a couple of rooms in his house. That will be better for Zophar while he's going through school, working, and dealing with the divorce. I'll miss both of them, and I'm more sorry than I can say that things didn't work out for them. I'll really miss having the kids around. They were good tenants, and a divorce, even when no children are involved, is always a painful business.

I'm sorry for me, too: I have to see about getting new tenants in the upstairs apartment, and that's always a hassle. Especially now, when I've got the gardening and landscaping to get done, and a zillion other things to do. Change is good, however, and I expect I'll deal with it all, eventually. On a positive note, I'll be able to increase the rent. A mundane consideration, but with utilities going up, a necessary one.

I woke up at 5.30 this morning, and I have to work tonight until 11. So, I'll have the day hours to get started on cleaning up the front yard, and starting the plans for the landscaping I want to do. I've been trying for three years to get off-the-street parking set up, and this year I am determined to get it done. The first step is going to be re-doing the fencing, and that's going to be a bit of a bore. Still: once it's done, it will be done. Then, the patio I want to put in comes next. Hopefully, I'll have that much done by the end of April. It'll crowd my schedule, and set me back on finishing 'Faberge', but it can't be helped.

82 years old. If I know my mother, she is transposing the digits, and only claiming 28 years. She says it works for her. (And some people think I get my whacked-out, reprehensible sense of humor from my practical-joking late father!) I swear, there are times when I think she'll outlive me.

I just finished a long-distance call with Joe in California. He tells me Gary Gygax is dead. The man who gave us Dungeons and Dragons, and inadvertently spawned both role-playing games and the videogame industry, its red-headed stepchild, is no longer with us. One hopes he is having a good time, playing with the dragons and exploring all the worlds he created from an imagination as fertile and productive as an Iowa cornfield.

Not too many of the new generations will know him; but his name and his contributions will be remembered by those of us who saw the start of this most potent stream in contemporary culture. I bought my first D&D books when they were paper-bound and came in a box. As a single mom with four kids to raise, I had to budget for nearly three months before I could afford to buy the hardbound DMG, Players Handbook, and Monster Manual. I still have them. They occupy an entire shelf in my bookcase, along with the loose-leaf notebooks that hold my campaigns, along with the character class of Amazon Warrior Maidens I created for my daughter, who was outraged by the fact that a Paladin had to be male.

I learned to dungeon-master before ever I played the games; and I once weaned an entire neighborhood of children from Saturday morning cartoons by teaching them to role-play. I left the boxed set with Steven, so he could dm for the kids when we moved. His family was far too poor for him to have bought his own books, and the kids were already upset that I was leaving them.

At the time, the adults who were into strategy and tactics games with whom I played, swore no child could understand how to play these games. I disagreed, and proved my point. Before ever Harry Potter came along to encourage kids to read, I had them learning math, character development, and adventuring in fantasy lands, figuring out puzzles and conundrums beyond counting. All this came about because of Gary Gygax... I am sorry to see him go. I, at least, will miss him...