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December 6 , 2011
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love this...just cos its fun :)
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Posted at 01:00 EST
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November 29 , 2011
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only member showing online?
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Posted at 21:00 EST
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kinda freaky...given that we have umpteen "members"...hmm, perhaps I'll roam YouTube for music videos *grin*...is that a hint 'bout updating the site or offering more features to have more folks online? *wink* |
November 17 , 2011
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the state of the real estate market...
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Posted at 00:00 EST
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isn't going to treat me too well when the sale of my condo goes through. so, I'm not really sure what the future will bring for me. I had so hoped things would be better, but apparently that's just not a happening thing. I'm ticked. I'm unhappy. And I'm trying not to let things bring me further down than I already am.
thanks to the folks here who help me laugh and help to make me feel a little better and who help to distract me from all this real life stuff that drives me nuts (you know who you are!).
I miss my husband, my cat, the life I had. I'm so tempted to say I'm sick of this new life and give up, but I still have no idea what this new life IS. And my kids would freak if I gave up. *wry look*
damn, I wish I could talk to my hubby 'bout it all....
AW distractions help, but they are no panacea. still, its at least a little comfort, a little movement away from obsessing about my husband dying. for that, I'm thankful.
shoot...just a moment in time when I'm remembering and being sad about my best friend being gone. |
November 9 , 2011
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I'm feeling...
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Posted at 21:00 EST
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totally deathed out (is that a word?). having to put one of my mom's cats to sleep today was just way too much. especially after having done the same for Saph recently. and my hubby dying back in June.
this is when one wonders what's the reason, what's the purpose, why go through all this?
and even after 51 years I have no firm answer...
I only know that I have to remember the love, the joy, and the intertwined beingness.
what more reason or purpose there could be escapes me.
in this moment, I'll turn my eyes and attention to another of my mom's cats, Pinky Lou, and watch him ignore the little kitty who so desperately wants to play with him.
and I'll remember that every moment is different, every moment brings something new...
and that love and joy and being are eternal.
p.s. I've totally been ignoring writing that NaNoWriMo novel....*shakes head* |
November 1 , 2011
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am I really doing this?
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Posted at 23:00 EST
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I must be nuts! Blame it all on Friederike! *grin*
this is what happens when you're friends on Facebook, see a status or comment that mentions your name, get curious, and go peek. ;) |
October 13 , 2011
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we're looking...
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Posted at 22:00 EST
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for scribes....meaning we search for folks who really care about the site, who want to contribute some part of their time to it, oversee an area of it.
you don't have to be some hard-core coder or graphics wiz, but you need to smile and enjoy this place and welcome others who stroll in and join us.
I'm no demi...but I welcome all folks...and hope that someone gains a tie to this place that inspires them to want to Scribe here. :) |
October 3 , 2011
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life keeps kicking me down...
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Posted at 23:00 EST
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and I still keep waking up each morning to days I'd never imagine I would experience. I'll be honest and open, and say that my son is now in jail with a DWI charge...and I have no intentions of bailing him out. what he's done to me in the past and this latest incident have tapped me out in the tolerance arena. I can barely even deal with the emotional overload of it all, especially since I'm STILL dealing with the loss of my best friend and husband.
I wonder if it will get better....or if this nightmare of serious emotional stress will ever end......so please accept my apologies if I get "testy" here...its really just a reflection of what's going on in my real life. ah, so demanding and merciless the mirrors that reflect us, that we reflect.....where we can't escape the truths we'd so prefer to hide... |
September 18 , 2011
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coding...and design...
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Posted at 21:00 EST
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been doing this all day...and was sooooooooooooo hoping the New Worlds would come online so I could do a couple of homes schtuff....*sigh*...I guess Jot is too busy elsewhere. but between doing GoldFest design and GF properties and GF/New Worlds personas I'm busy enough. perhaps one day Jot will implement the easy ability to modify a page style....i.e., css coding that doesn't break your head and make you lose what little hair you may have at my age.
another day, another coding and graphics thingee...time to watch a bit more football and read a good book...second book in the Sun Sword series by Michelle West...my fave fantasy series. :) |
September 16 , 2011
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the days pass...
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Posted at 23:00 EST
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and I find myself delving into AW to distract myself from that inner pain that just seems to not fade. and its ok. life has loss in it. its part of living. but to create something new....even here....is a blessing. I'm still sad...but its amazing that AW can bring some small bit of humor out of me, can bring forth ideas that didn't exist before, can keep me grounded when part of me wants to fly apart and give up.
So...........thank you AW...for still existing in the vast, crazy web and for being a place I can retreat to in many guises to be all I am, and all I can be. :) |
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well...
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Posted at 23:00 EST
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I would add this to my Morna nick and my Immortal Beloved journal, but can't....so will just mention that Samhain/Halloween is my wedding anniversary with hubby. How strange it will be to move through that day and have him elsewhere.....after just so short a time of being together...and to spend my energies helping to create a fest that normally falls on that date. :)
the rain falls over parched earth...and I'm partaking of that grace....the raindrops are a symphony of peace... |
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STATISTICS
So far today, February 13 , 2012
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| - |
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| 16 |
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| 16 |
pageviews |
Since this journal started on November 12 , 2003 :
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| 179 |
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| 29443 |
guests |
| 29926 |
pageviews |
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