Mogh is : ) And it ain't easy for him but he is really good at it!

Well my Papa had a stroke a few days ago. I was with him at work when it happened. We have several close family held corporations and I happened to be at the new store that is about to open in two weeks. We were dealing with county inspections and such. My father is 53 years old. He is a very high strung personality and I am always having to run interferece between the employees and my papa. You see my father knows how to tell someone when they are doing a bad job and of course we have plenty of those, but he also does not know when to tell someone they are doing a good job.
That is where I come in. In order to keep our excellent and talented employees I have to go behind his back and explain to them. Yes, you are doing a good job don't worry my father knows you are....it is just he has a hard time saying so. My papa is a very talented and a well respected business man here and I am lucky to have been born into such a family.
If it had not been for my papa I would have never made it through the trauma my husband's death.
Before my father became an entrepreneur he was in the military, just like my husband. My papa has high blood pressure and a few other health problems. He won't spend much time with the doctor on this and it has come to this now. He always thinks making money for his kids is foremost even though he and my mom have plenty to retire on. I can't understand it really. He should know his children have been raised well enough and we can do well for ourselves.
Today as I sat by his bedside the doctors assured me he was in stable condition and would recover. They also told me he needed to pay upmost atention to his health from now on. I cannot lose my papa and I told him so as he lay there. I lost my husband in Iraq as most of you know, four years ago. If I lose my papa I do not know what I would do. I wish I could make him understand. Today he wanted me to find his checkbook and told me he was going to write me a check to move my son and the rest of our family to New Zealand. It freaked me out everything we have is here. It made no sense so I called in the doctor who assured me that this was normal after his type of stroke and things would be okay as his brain healed from the trauma. Then directly after, when I did not produce his checkbook, he asked for his personal secretary. When I told him that there was no reason for her to have to come in again (she had been there all night with the rest of us) he accused me of firing her and trying to take the business away from the family for my own personal gain. That really, really hurt. Although I understand, and the doctors felt very bad r me. They agreed that this was just a phase. Still I am not sure I am up to another tragedy. Damn, I feel so really weak and vulnerable but I do feel better having been able to write this down here where others may understand.

Theme from Smallville -Remy Zero

REMY ZERO

Death Cab for Cutie

Yesterday would have been my husband Patrick's thirty-third birthday. Needless to say it was not a good day for me. It never is for the living. It is a fact of life I know and one must go on. I've learned to be on my own, to do things on my own and finally not to be afraid to be alone. I know I am not the only person to live through the pain but sometimes it does feel that way. My regret was not being by his side as his soul left his body, this world, and me. If I could have stolen one last kiss before the Valkeries /Angels came to take him away. Patrick left behind his gift to me, a beautiful son, which I regret he will not see grow into the fine man so worthy of his father. He is already much like his father and for that I am so grateful. I see him everyday in my son's eyes his mannerisms and thank the gods for leaving such a treasure in the place of another. I express my sorrow in this poem I wrote not long ago. I place it in my journal again for celebration of my own personal loss. Soon I hope I will be well enough to write a poem in celebration of his life rather than the pain of his death. Feast Well at Odin's table, my love.

It was a day like this.

A beautiful day.

The sun shone bright

The hot humid air of summer

That brought with it

The threat of hurricanes,

Had left our shores still intact.

The heat too was leaving.

On your skin you could feel

A quickening in the air.

The birth of fall was near.

Soon my true love would

Bring back to me, my heart.

It was his time to come home.

After all these months.

It was a beautiful day

It was a day like this

I remember the smells of

Eventide, just as this beautiful

Day was coming to a close.

I remember feeling the

Breeze's crisp fingers

Reaching through the screen door

The sound of children's laughter.

From the park down the lane.

I could see soon the citrus fruit

Would need harvest in the field.

The beautiful day was waning

Turning to a beautiful night.

I sat down in my love's favorite chair

Soon it would again hold his impression

His fire, his smell, his soul.

I shall always savor that moment dreamily

When my arms would hold him again

When our eyes, our lips would meet.

Just like the first time

We both knew we held each other's hearts.

Oh yes it was a beautiful day and a wonderful night!

Until death came to my door, they were quiet

Solemn could they not see what a beautiful day

It had been? How lovely the night?

I can't remember if I thanked them

When they left,I remember holding

The papers and for a very long time

The beautiful day was gone

The beautiful night had turned into

A deep and quiet darkness

Soon it would be Thanksgiving

There would be a feast here in every home

My feast would be alone but not my love's

His feast would be in Valhalla where all

The brave and worthy warriors have been taken by the

Valkyries through all the ages of men and wars.

I'll always remember the beautiful day

The day before death came to my door

And left me a widow of men and wars

Oh Thor!!!! am I glad to be a Viking Woman!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Dreamily)I just love this show and this second season is even better than the first. Ah yes I should have been a Saxon and lived in those lovely woods with me own Hood. I have the first series DVD but now I hear its coming out on blu-Ray soon so I will have to get it. It is a shame but I have this addiction to blu-ray and even though I already have the movies that keep coming out newly on blu-ray in the other format I just can't help buying them again in blu-ray. No one but me seems to be able to tell the difference. Blu-ray is awesome. I wish they would hurry up with the 13th Warrior in that format!

Okay so my stars and stripes is certified to be made in the U.S. Okay good I wouldn't want it made in China(no offense to the Chinese (although FREE TIBET) but someone needs to draw a line somewhere). However a closer look at the package tells a couple pieces were actually made elsewhere and the whole thing was entirely assembled elsewhere. The elsewhere is not in the USA BTW. Seems it is cheaper to make the pieces of stuff here and assemble them all elsewhere.
Now for my packet of Alaskan Salmon. The Salmon does come from Alaskan waters but apparently it was also assembled elsewhere. Again it's cheaper that way. Could it be that we Americans are finally realizing we have moved into some altered universe? Or have I lost my mind completely?
Perhaps its the material I read. I read this in "Consumer Reports" March 2008 issue. Went to check it out myself and sure enough. It's right there on the packages. Made in America but assembled somewhere else. I think I'd rather go back to the Viking days. Hey at least we knew where the things we looted were made and manufactured.