"Hello and welcome back everyone! You, I am sure, remember your hosts of Mesopotamia, Gilgamesh and I, Humbaba. It's been an exciting and busy couple of months for a lot of us here at Ancient Worlds. The most noteworthy event, in our collective opinion, was the celebration of the Mesopotamian New Year, Akitu. This festival consisted of many different events, hosted by a variety of our favorite Mesopotamians. It was a huge success."
Humbaba takes a large drink of Kash before continuing. Gilgamesh snores away?
"This year's Akitu celebrations were hosted by Zig ApilSin, King of Babylon and Akitu. We'd like to thank Zig for hosting our events at his home. And also, Akitu Queen, Xena ApilSin for getting the party started!"
Gilgamesh snorts awake and surreptitiously wipes the drool from a corner of his mouth. "Did you say Xena and party? Man that Zig is a lucky fellow! I'd like to think he learned all of his most endearing qualities from me." Gilgamesh chuckles and a far-away look enters his eyes as he reminisces about his younger days.
"Ahem. Quite so, Gil. Now then, on to the events of the festival! First, we had a Pre-party kick-off, hosted by Kallistos Alexandros, in conjunction with our very own Persia Xerxes. The party was a big hit (even if Gilgamesh wasn't there) and our Akitu Queen, Xena ApilSin arrived in style in her limo/hummer. The revelers dined on exquisite foods and drinks and the party lasted well into the night. You gotta hand it to them Greeks, they sure know how to party!"
"I'm sorry I missed it. I could have shown the Queen a real good time. I'm an excellent dancer." Gilgamesh says as he inspects his buffed nails. He seems to realize he hasn't given an excuse for his absence and so, guiltily adds, "Er?I was otherwise engaged on that day. Nothing I could get out of on short notice."
Humbaba chuckles and says, "You mean you were afraid of coming in close proximity to Ishtar. She still hasn't forgiven you for turning her down when she wanted a new lover." At a dark glare from Gil, Humbaba wisely chooses to drop the subject and continue with the Akitu reporting. "Right, as I was saying, the hung-over masses then woke up early the next day to be entertained by the events for our first day of Akitu. Normally, it would run for 12 days, but the Scribes decided it would be best to have only three. A very wise decision."
"The first day, March 18th, brought us to the Tour of Akitu which was created by IshmeAdad Cornelius. This tour was done in three installments throughout the designated days for Akitu. It's quite entertaining (and educational), a must see! It has also earned a GEM for Mesopotamia. Next, we had the pleasure of finding Zig ApilSin in the event named Manhunt. The hunters were given seventeen clues to the last known locations for Zig, and clues, as to whether they were on the right track, in the guise of - ahem - women's undergarments. The winner of this even was Mehdi Cyaxeres who was able to decipher all the hints and find all seventeen women that Zig had visited. Congratulations, Mehdi!"
"Lucky devil." Gilgamesh mutters as he flips through the thread and views all the women.
"Next, we were dazzled by the 2007 Akitu Gods and Demons Tour brought to you by Marduk Hammurabi. In this tour, we learn of all sorts of gods and demons of Mesopotamia (not just Babylon). I must say, I found this immensely educational as well as interesting. After the tour, all of Ancient Worlds was invited in a perversion of the Akitu ceremonies -" at Gil's raised eyebrow, he quickly continues, "to slap the King of Akitu, Zig ApilSin. Many decided this was an opportunity that could not be passed up and after so they flocked to the event titled, A Slapping Good Time to ensure the benevolence of Marduk. If they could make the king shed tears, well then that was all the better for Babylon!"
"Now that is something I am glad I was not King for." says Gilgamesh. "I've done my time and fair share of crying for my people but, some of those women were downright frightening! Good thing my lovers didn?t come together for good of king and country. And the cuckolds?I shudder to think of the many men who would have shown up with weapons. I would have bawled like a baby then!"
"Quite so, Gil. Now, on to our second day of events. The next day of events consisted of mostly puzzles and quizzes. Caileadair Etana, our own lovely Scriba Emeritus, created a wonderful Akitu Festival Crossword. It was a challenge, but I enjoyed this crossword very much! Next, we were given a 2007 Akitu Gods and Demons Tour Quiz, created by Persia Xerxes. This quiz was based off of the previous day's tour. It was challenging, but not so bad if you'd taken the tour. Then, we got to sit back and relax a little from the academics with the Which Babylonian God/Goddess are you? personality quiz brought to you by ApilIshtar Etana. The beautiful graphics for the gods and goddesses were created by the very talented, Scriba Emeritus of Germania, Odin Knudsson. I'd like to note that these threads are still open if you missed them. You can still take the quizzes, tours and work on the puzzle!"
"So many babes, so little time?" Gil mutters into his bowl of Kash. His lap is empty of dancing girls?His eyes light up with an idea! He opens his mouth, only to be cut short by Humbaba.
"Er?right. We'd best move along before we're edited and made to shorten the report." Humbaba interjects quickly. He so hates to be cut off in the middle of an article. "The third and final day, March 20th, was a bit more hectic than the previous one. We had the third and last installment of the Akitu Tour, as well as a quiz based on the tour and created by ApilIshtar Etana. Also, the Marriage Bed Writing Contest was wrapped up and the judges voted. There were many wonderful entries (and amazingly clean), but there could only be three winners. Our judges were the Roman lover, Signor Grande Romulus and the Akitu Queen, Xena ApilSin. First place went to Elenwe Yngling with his own story version. Second place went to Michal Ben Judah with her entry. Third was awarded to Beauty Solon with Beauty's Marriage Bed entry. Congratulations to all the winners! Please, read the other entries as well as these. You won't be disappointed!"
"The final day was ended with a hilarious, interactive game of BABYLON SQUARES II. This game was brought to us through the creative genius of Apiladey ApilSin. He brought together some of the celebrities of Ancient Worlds as well as contestants from all corners of our worlds. Throw these people together with alcohol (mixed with some not-so-legal drugs) and trivia questions and you have a fun form of chaos! Needless to say, it took a while for the dust to settle and the winners to be announced. After counting and re-counting, the winners were announced: Alal-Sin Malachus - First Place, Onions Hatshepsut - Second Place and Katerina Clouds Aristotle - Third Place. Congratulations all, and thank you to all the contestants, celebrities and creator for a rip-roaring good time!"
"Whew! That was quite the festival, wasn't it Humbaba. Too bad you couldn't make it as well." Gil says with a big grin. Unlike Gilgamesh and his hiding from a vengeful goddess, Humbaba didn't make the festival due to some rare and embarrassing lion disease that left him hairless in spots and itchy.
"Indeed, Gilgamesh. Too bad neither of us were able to be there. But, there are still some quizzes, puzzles and tours that one can go back to and play with. We'd like to thank everyone who contributed with events, participants and AW as a whole for their time and patience. We hope you learned a few things about our world, and had fun doing it!"
