“Hello everyone! It’s us, your friendly hosts to Mesopotamia, Humbaba and Gilgamesh. Please sit back, grab a bowl of kash (or two in the cases of Apiladey and Persia) and allow us to tell you the news.”
Gilgamesh tries to hide his yawn. “Come on, Humbaba! You’re always so straight-laced. Can we please make this a little more fun for the folks? Be sure to tell them about the parties! Oooh! And the dancing girls, don’t forget the dancing girls!” A lecherous gleam enters the eyes of our fabled king at the mere mention of the opposite sex.
“Yes Gil.” Humbaba heaves a mighty sigh, “I won’t forget to mention the parties or the girls. Can I get back to the news now?” At Gilgamesh’s nod, Humbaba continues, “Now, where was I? Oh yes, the girls. Our very own Maia Siduri has taken on the monumental task of reviving an old group, you can post your ideas or thoughts on the thread: Revitalising Empires. Empires is a group that was created as a place to discuss societies in the Ancient Near East. Maia would love to hear from you about doing role play (or interactive storytelling), if you are interested in helping with reviving the group! She is a fun gal who has tons of fun stories to tell. Maybe you’ll tell us a few of your own in Empires.”
“Boy do I love that Maia! I’ve got a soft spot in me for those redheads. They get me every time!” Gilgamesh takes a large drink out of his bowl of kash as Humbaba impatiently taps his foot. He knows not to interrupt Gil’s ramblings until he’s good and ready to be interrupted. Popping a date into his mouth and chewing slowly, the Sumerian King finally swallows and says sotto voce to Humbaba, “I have a few tales I could tell her. Like that one time I had those three dancing girls before me and then we-”
“Moving on to other news.” Humbaba quickly interrupts and glares at Gil’s devilish smile. Oooh that man knows how to push one’s buttons. “The lovely and talented, Leah Enkidu has given permission for we Mesopotamians to do a newsletter on her own publication, Babylon Beat. This newsletter would be published (hopefully) bi-weekly in order to keep our fellow Mesopotamians up-to-date on events and new threads or homes in our wonderful land. A big ‘thank you!’ goes out to Leah.”
Humbaba pauses in his reading of the news in order for Gil to add his two sestertii’s worth. Instead of butting-in, Gilgamesh is busy picking date seeds out of his teeth. Humbaba does a double-take. When did that dancer come in and sit on his lap? He shakes his head sadly and rustles his news tablets loudly, clears his throat (and surreptitiously glances again at the dancing girl) before continuing. “In ‘Hoods news, we have a new city leader in Sumeria's Uruk. Shamhat Etana has taken the reins of this city in her capable hands and has already implemented some changes. Under her guidance, Uruk now has some music to add to the ambiance of the city. Also, you will find a new district ready for inhabitants. The White Temple, earthly abode of the God An(u) is the perfect bit of real estate for an upcoming priest or priestess! Thank you Shamhat for your time and care of our beautiful city of Uruk.”
Gilgamesh is alone again and hears the last of Humbaba’s latest news. “Hmmm…have I met this Shamhat before? The name sounds familiar…”
Humbaba shakes his head and sighs loudly. “Never mind that, Gil. I still have a lot of news to report!” The last thing I need is for Gil to renew old acquaintances and start rambling on about the good old days… Humbaba thought. “Parties!” With one word, Gil’s troubled frown turns into a wide-mouth grin. He anxiously waves for Humbaba to continue. “Er…we have a couple of parties coming up in March. The first of which will be hosted by our Hellas Ambassador, Kallistos Alexandros. Mesopotamia’s beautiful Scribe, Persia Xerxes will be adding her assistance in this endeavor. We all know how Mesopotamians (especially that Kash Bowl crowd) love to have a good time! So, please meet us all at the Hellas Embassy in March!
After the festival in Hellas, we are planning on having our very own Akitu festival. Akitu, for those of you who may have forgotten, is the Babylonian celebration for the New Year. In ancient times, we began our year with the Spring. If you’d like to help plan events for Akitu, please let us know at the Akitu Planning thread. There are just tons of events we could host! So, put on your thinking caps and help us ring in the real New Year!”
“I certainly hope that Zig ApilSin makes a good showing as he did in years past. If not, then I’ll gladly take over the role of Tammuz in the marriage ceremony to that hot babe Ishtar. I’ve forgiven you for the Cedar Forest incident, baby!” Gil mouthes, “Call me.” at the screen.
“Ahem. Yes, well that’s all we have for this issue. Please don’t miss looking at our featured threads and homes. You’ll be glad you didn’t pass them by!”
