What was Tolkien on about?
    Although the first book is a potboiling page turner, in terms of plot credibility the LOTR looks poor, even by comparison with some of Thiu's RP storylines at Germania's Brunhilda Bar!!

In fact, Books 2 & 3 are entirely unnecessary: at the end of the first volume, they all gather round a table at Rivendell and decide that the only course is to chuck this ring into 'Mount Doom' about 1500 miles away. and the only way to do this is for 9 of them to go there, taking about eighteen months, a couple of casualties, and several rambling subplots.

HOWEVER! We ALREADY KNOW that among the good guys are these gigantic eagles called Gwaihir the Windlord (and his mates ..can't recall their names) who could get from Rivendell to Mt Doom in about an hour and a half, dump the ring down the said volcano, and be back at Rivendell in time for dinner.
End of Sauron, end of %^&*ing story, chum!

As a side-issue, all who read this book note that as they travel hundreds of miles across 'Middle-earth' the main characters hardly come upon a living thing wherever they go: no cows, sheep, nothing wild.. I think there are two rabbits that Gollum eventually finds.
So where have all the domestic livestock & wild life gone??

Well, Gwaihir and his pals are raptors, and they are also packing about a 40 foot wingspan. Have you seen what a normal sized eagle will slaughter in its home territory?

Ergo, there is no wildlife in Middle Earth because these giant eagle &*^*ers have plainly eaten everything a-hoof! And they're supposed to be The Good Guys..

That there are any horses in Rohan with these rapaciously hungry flying psychos in the neighbourhood stretches the bounds of credibility a step too far.

I hereby rest my Thesis: that the LOTR is a load of old cobblers.
    ~ Petraites Lucretius

Plenty of violence, not enough sex!
    I took the kids to see LOTR II which was quite enjoyable up until the part with the Goofyesque talking trees, which looked like something you see floating through the "It's a small world" ride at Disneyland.

For a decent tree, see Harry Potter II, where a homicidal evergreen pounds their flying Morrie Thou to bits. I think my panelbeater has one of those growing behind his workshop, judging by the new dents my car always comes back with.

My five year old's been creeping around the house hissing "Give me my pre-ee-cc--ious..." and the other night I woke up to find he'd bitten my ring finger off.

Fortunately it was just a dream.
    ~ Strabo Furius

DEFINATLEY not enough sex
    Who cares if LOTR is a load of old cobblers? Frankly the only thing I care about (like most red blooded females) is when exactly Aragorn is going to get naked. Secondly, we spend 90% of our days thinking about being tag-teamed by Aragorn and, in the first movie, Boromir and in the second (what with Boromir being dead) the Elf.

Incidently, I think Boromir's brother sucks.
    ~ Caeseria Maximus

Boromir's brother sucks?
    I guess The Elf (Legolas) knows that already... and why do you think he and Gimli the Dwarf become so great friends? (two individuals from peoples who hate each other?) It's a "fairytale"! *G* Stop dreaming of The Elf, Caeseria! He's clearly been had already! *EG*
    ~ Tobius Tullius

I always wondered...
    about Gimli. Very hard to pinpoint a sex huh? But Toby, if you say he's with the Elf, well then, I'll stick to the dead guys and just hope he looks better in my dreams. *sigh*
    ~ Caeseria Maximus