“Where the hell is he?!” demanded Gaius Claudius Marcellus, stalking the dining room in the way a tiger stalks the floor of the arena before a kill.

The paterfamilias got no answer from the rest of his family save for sheepish looks into their breakfast.

He repeated his question.

“Where, in the name of all the Gods, is he?!”

His wife, Aemilia Lepida, stared him straight in the eye.

“We don’t know anymore than you. You know what he’s like. Now sit down and have something to eat.”

Aemilia Lepida didn’t look like a legionary commander. But she came from a family that had served Rome for over five centuries; she knew how to issue an order. Gaius sat down. He grumbled as he munched.

“It’s just not on. He’s not a child. He’s got responsibilities.”

“To be fair, Father,” put in his eldest son, another Gaius Marcellus “Lucius has been a military tribune for four years. He has won a gold crown. It’s not as if he hasn’t shown that he can buckle down.”

Upon seeing the anger in his father’s eyes Gaius Marcellus Jnr wished he’d kept his mouth shut. The meal progressed in silence. Or it would have done if it weren’t for little Claudilla Marcella, Gaius Jnr’s month-old daughter, who began to gurgle happily to herself after a few moments quiet. Her mother, Junia Silana, dandled her in her arms trying to make her hush, quite aware of the dark looks her father-in-law was giving her.

The baby didn’t stop and Gaius Marcellus Snr got up once again from the table in disgust. He resumed his pacing.

“Where is he?!” He pointed a finger at his wife. “He does it on purpose you know! He does it to annoy me!”

“In which case he’s winning” responded his wife quietly. Claudia Marcella, their daughter and their youngest child, put a hand to her mouth to hide her smile. Her father ignored them both.

“It’s the same as what happened yesterday! He does it on purpose I tell you. He loves a scandal. And that stupid friend of his, Antistius! He’ll never amount to anything that one! What good has going to the theatre ever done anyone?! I should never have let you convince me to let the girls go, Aemilia. It’s not Roman and it’s not right!”

“What about Plautus, Tata?” asked Claudia sweetly.

“Plautus is different – as you well know. It’s not Greek for one thing!”

Claudia persisted in winding her father up further.

“Don’t you like Greek things, Tata? And if not why did you spend all that money hiring Aristarchus to teach us the language?”

There followed a particularly loud “Hhhaaarruuummmppphhh!!!”.

“Because Greek, Claudia, is an important language. Having a grasp of Greek is a sign of sophistication and education. Going to Greek plays, on the other hand, is not! Going to Greek plays is a sign of voyeurism! And you shall not be attending any more of them!”

“Yes, Tata,” answered the girl.

The baby still wasn’t quiet. Another few seconds passed. Gaius Marcellus Snr banged his hand on the table – at breakfast the Claudii Marcelli sat around a table rather than reclined.

“I’ll string him up the moment he steps through the door! He should be here by now! Today’s important for his future and for this family!”

Little Claudilla Marcella had had enough. She let out a wail that could have been heard across the Palatine. Then she began to cry. Incessantly.

“WILL SOMEONE PLEASE SHUT THAT BABY UP!!!” roared the head of the household.

Claudilla’s nurse ran into the room and took the baby from her mother and went off towards the nursery. Gaius Marcellus Snr’s face was red. His son’s was also red, but with embarrassment rather than rage. Claudia was again hiding a grin behind her hand. Calpurnia Pisonis, the wife of the third Marcellan son, Marcus, and who had remained silent throughout was ashen. Aemilia Lepida though looked serenely on as her husband turned to her.

“What in blazes is she doing bringing a baby in here at breakfast time anyway?! Of all the idiotic things to do!”

Aemilia Lepida placed both her hands on the table top and spoke calmly.

“Right. That is enough. Gaius, you are cross with Lucius. You’re angry that he’s not here. As I said before: you know what he’s like. And furthermore, he doesn’t know why today is so special. You haven’t told him. Therefore he doesn’t know that he’s got to be here early. And, as soon as the meal is finished you’ll go and apologise to Junia Silana. It was you that upset the baby. She was perfectly happy until you started with this temper tantrum. A man of your age. Now sit down.”

Gaius Claudius Marcellus sat down. His wife had spoken.